Trying

What is "trying"......you hear this ALL the time.  "Yeah, we are trying now", how exciting!  How fun is that!  The act of trying.  Well its trying in itself.  Who wants to count the number of days between your cycle, midway, pee on a stick that isn't a pregnancy test, only to find out that you may or may not be ovulating.  If you are, you call your hubby up, at work, or send winky faces to him all day.  You rush home, shave your legs, brush your hair, add mascara, and find the cutest undies and bra that you own, only to have him walk in on the phone trying to help that person cope with their situation, which may or may not be related to a death in the their family.  Complete buzz kill, and rightly so, but then your window is closing in.  You go back to work the next day, all worried, is it happening now, am I too late, am I too early, what if we miss it!  Then again, rush home, wait for the door, and he comes in, late from work because he took a patient late so that they could work around their schedule.  You eat dinner in silence, you don't want to push it on him, then its not fun, and you worry, and stress, and then the night is over and you are laying in bed wide awake at midnight, knowing that your window has closed.  Then you wait another 14 days for Aunt Flo, and when she arrives you start the count all over again!
Insert wine.....

Its a vicious cycle,  and those who say oh we are having so much fun, THEY ARE LYING!  Don't believe them!  Trying is supposed to be fun, but its only good for 2-3 days of the month!  And you have to "try" for those days solid!  By the 3rd day, and after months of "trying" your creativity is lacking, its becoming a chore, because in 14 days if you have your Aunt visit, then you know the count is on, and you are back to the drawing board.

And what if you don't ovulate midway, what if you miscalculated or you just didn't that time?  Well that happens too, and then you loose a month, a whole month is wasted.  So trying isn't all fun, well maybe for those who have it easy, but those who don't, trying is work.  And more people have trouble trying and succeeding than ever before.  But you won't know that because who talks about it?  I know I don't see posts on Facebook that say "oh we tried this month, but didn't have any luck" comments "better luck next month!" Or "another one bites the dust, our window has closed" comments, "open its faster!"

Then you find yourself planning trips, for "trying".  Getaways if you will.  Reasons to TRY all weekend long.  Lay on the beach, in bikinis and have drinks, its all very romantic.  No it is, but the purpose of your trip, well that could be debatable.  At first, yes it was fun, it was exciting, it was romantic, it got good, but then after 2 years, you just start getting tired.  You want results!  I mean after 6 months, it can get on your nerves, not that its not fun, but you know why you are trying.  Then your girlfriend who started when you did calls you up 6 months later, "I am due in May!"  Which is 5 months away, so you know it didn't take long at all.   You tell her how excited you are, and you get off the phone and say hey honey, lets try harder!!  We are lagging behind!  In reality you are starting a journey you didn't plan for or want for anyone.  Infertility....