Showers and showers of gifts

When you are pregnant with your first the world showers you with gifts.  People come out of the woodwork almost, and you get things you will never use, things you will use once, and things you will use ALL the time.  Its amazing how many thank you cards you go through.

But when you are pregnant for the first time after losses, and fertility issues, showers are not the same.  You are nervous, constantly.  Each present you open, you worry, will the baby ever use this? Will you ever get to see the baby wear this?  Will the baby make it here?  I know morbid, but thats what was going through my mind.  I was tearful each time I had a shower.  I had 3 too.  One in SC with his family, one at work, and one with friends here in town, a co-ed shower.
I also had one at work.  Overall it was a lot!  It was wonderful but you just worry that all this showering and happiness will be cut short.  You just are scared.  Its just the way anyone feels that has had losses, and have had trouble getting pregnant.  Its a terrible feeling and you want to feel excited and happy but you worry constantly.  Each cramp, each spot, each weird headache, all make you worry.

B's patients and random people were also so good to us.  We got more clothes and beautiful blankets, it was amazing how many people were so good to us.  We had a spoiled little girl who hadn't made her appearance and didn't know how wonderful life would be!

Everyone was so too to us!  

It just kept coming!