Monday, June 8, 2015

Summer of 2014

So here I was pregnant, and working on a large project, which required me to be on a construction site, and work long hours.  Go me!  I couldn't complain, the stars were aligning.

I went to our first OBGYN appt, week 9, and had an ultrasound.  Again, that beautiful heartbeat, and the site of a little bean inside me growing.  At this point, I started taking pictures of what size fruit it was and me.  Yeah that was short fatigue got the best of me, and the heat!  
It was just so la di da, in the doc's office, here is the heartbeat, here is the fetus, and see you back in a month.  Here is your appt to go to your high risk doc, thanks!  I guess I had been through so much, and this was so normal, that I expected fan fair, or something.  I mean we got a goodie bag, and coupons.  Oh well, people get pregnant all the time, not me though.  This was not normal for me, and I had been through the ringer to get here.  

I went to work each day, trying to keep it together.  Amongst my morning sickness, meetings, walking all over the place, my stupid cravings, moods, not being allowed to carry anything, multiple appts. since I was high risk and soon, gaining weight, I was exhausted.  I came home each day and fell into the sofa.  I napped every day, sweetie barely saw me, or had a descent meal for months.  I felt terrible, literally, but I couldn't help it.  The first trimester is no joke, the fatigue was major.  The cravings were intense!  I ate an entire cantaloupe every other day.  He was going to the store all the time for those things.  I also couldn't get enough chicken tenders, and krispy kreme doughnuts.  Before I had had other cravings, like fudge sickles, pop tarts and plain lays potato chips.  All seemed yummy at the time, but I didn't want to crave what I did in the past for those other pregnancies.  Then came the cucumbers, and the steak and shake burgers.  It was specific.  

I then spent the remaining of the summer hiding my pregnancy from my boss as we traveled each week in the car for 2 hours to Orlando for our construction project.  I held in my pee, I drank fake caffeine, and took snacks with me saying I didn't have time to eat breakfast.  It was hard.  I needed to eat and I wasn't able to eat like I needed to during our trips.  She was on a major diet, and didn't want to eat anything.  I was always famished.  We would stop and eat, and I could have eaten that meal twice.  And I had to suck it up and make a grilled cheese or quesadilla when I would get home.  Not to mention it was hot out, it was summer in Florida.  It was loud on the site, dusty, concrete, on my feet, I was nervous as it was, this made it worse.

My clothes were starting to grow tighter on me, and I was having trouble hiding things or so I thought.  Apparently my co-workers suspected nothing.  But I saw my belly growing, and my hips getting wider.  I was also hot hot hot, all the time.  I had a fan on me most of the day, and gingerale at my desk.  Cheese and crackers were my friends, and I had to leave my desk alot to race to the restroom not only to pee, but to calm down when I would have cramping or spotting.  The summer was scary, the first trimester was scary.  And all awhile, I hid this pregnancy, my black and blue stomach from the heparin (which I was still on) and my backside was extremely sore from progesterone shots still.  I was worn out.  The year before, all the fertility, now the pregnancy, my crazy work schedule, it was hard.  But I was sooooo happy about the little bean inside.  I just wanted it to stay put.  And every so often something would comfort me to know it was going to.

Growing bigger as the summer drags on!  

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